May 2008
9 posts
chapter 1: the kelpsters
one day, shark-shark set off in search of food. after a few fights between itself, it finally settled on a direction and soon enough it came upon an edgy section of the ocean. there had been an oil spill here in like 1996 which drove out most of the vibrant sea life that had inhabited the area. except for those plants whose roots were too deep, who remained behind. as the plants continued to...
the kelpsters were near the bottom of the food chain but that made no difference to shark-shark. shark-shark would eat anything, and preferred to start with the least difficult prey. since most kelpsters were kept comfortable by their giant kelp parents, they were rather apathetic and easy to feed upon. they mostly spent their days just swaying in the current. it didn’t matter to them...
“…um, so yeah, the mail order tshirt business is going great….” “wait, shark-shark comes here now? ok, we cannot hang here anymore…” “can you believe they painted over shepard fairey’s obama stencil?” “i know, right? its like they can feel the change coming, and they are so scared dude…” “ugh. its shark-shark.” “who?” “shark-shark.” “who?” “shark-shark. shark. shark.” ...
so shark-shark did the only thing that it could think to do. shark-shark ate the kelpsters.
meet shark-shark.
while most sharks who are born are born all shark, shark-shark was born half shark and half shark. this gave it the ferocious killing power of a shark and also the ferocious killing power of a shark. shark-shark had a thirst for blood to rival that of two normal sharks. or maybe more bloodthirst than that even. like the bloodthirstiness of a normal shark squared. despite endowing it with such...